Music Lovers Take Note

Tim DeLaughter of The Polyphonic Spree is dancing with his muse once again. He has begun to write the music that The Spree will record on their new album this fall. Even more exciting, he has decided to share the process with us. He is currently posting raw, unedited, cuts on The Spree's website.

The Spree is also getting an incredible amount of buzz around Dallas as we all await the new album. Check out The Dallas Observer's Music Blog for a much more educated perspective than I can provide. After all, I am a little biased since my sister (pictured directly to the right of DeLaughter in this Fragile Army pic) rocks the flute for the band.

Nothing Yet

I haven't heard from the producers of Morning Joe just yet. (I know you're all dying to hear the news as much as me.) However, I'm sure it is just because I sent Willie's invitation late in the day and the show is, of course, a morning show. And now, it's the weekend.

I'm positive I'll hear something Monday.

Check out my new comment software, Disqus. I've been using it over at Lindsay Ferrier's blog Suburban Turmoil and I love, love, love it.

Have a great weekend. It is actually going to be under 100 here in Texas for the next two days. What a wonderful surprise in July!

Willie Geist is Cordially Invited to Stepford

The video below was one of the funniest things I saw prior to the election. It was just so foreign to me to see a complete population of people with which I agreed.

MSNBC's Morning Joe reran this piece earlier this week. They used the video as an introduction to Harry Stein's visit to the show. Harry has recently released the book Can't believe you're sitting next to a Republican?

I have not read the book, but the premise as I understand it is that crazed liberals are going around the country attacking poor innocent Republicans. The general consensus of the panel discussion that followed was that the left was much less reasonable and open-minded than the right.

WTF???????

Please. Willie, I invite you to bring your Obama paraphernalia to Stepford for a repeat of the experiment you did on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I can assure you that the Stepfordians will make these New Yorkers look like milk toast.

I can't wait to meet Willie, he is my favorite on Morning Joe. Mica would be my fave, but she needs to learn to speak up and stop letting the loud-talker, Joe, drown her out.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

New Car Hell

I had not intended to write about (finally) getting rid of the Palinmobile. But, I just can't help it.





Here's the deal. Over the weekend I picked out a car on the Internet. The Husband reviewed it and agreed that it met my specifications. Then the FATAL error occurred.

For some reason (temporary insanity) I uttered the words, "Can you just take care of it?" I even went so far as to promise certain things that I would be willing to do (sex), if he would just take care of it.

He. Agreed. To. Do. It.

I've got three letters for that: FML.

I like control. It works for me, because I'm good at controlling things. Out of milk? I know where to get some. Manage the household budget? You bet. Dry cleaning? Got it covered. Groceries? Sunday mornings. Let the dog out? Already done. You get the idea. I rule.

However, I motherfuckinghate buying a car. I hate car salesmen, car finance people, other people buying cars, and people in traffic on my way to buy the car. I hate the chit chat, I really hate the question "What kind of payment are you looking for?" (I always say zero), I hate the financing Wizard they keep behind the glass wall, and I hate how COLD it is inside the showroom. Seriously? They could charge less for the cars if they would turn their thermostat up a few degrees.

So, here I am. I'm supposed to meet my husband tonight at 7PM to sign my name in five places (he swears, just five places) to purchase a car I've never seen in person. To say the least, my control issues are in overdrive.

My fear is that I will arrive at 7PM and their will be a slight "problem". I haven't determined what exactly this "problem" is going to be, but I'm thinking there will be one.

I'm taking deep cleansing breaths and trying to focus on the positive. If things go as planned, I will be driving to work tomorrow morning in my new car that will luxuriously mold to my fat ass while melting the pounds away. I'll look ten years younger just because the lighting in the car is so good. I'll be WAY sexier than I am today, because I will rock this car so hard. Pink will play on the radio. All the other Stepford Wives will envy me and all the other Stepford Husbands will offer to buy their wives a car like mine in exchange for what I've promised my husband in return for "just taking care of it".

I'll let you know tomorrow how that works out for me.

A Hater Named Sarah

If profanity offends you, do not read this post. You've been warned.





This was written to me and about me today on DivineCaroline:

"Kristi, you'll never be elected the governor of any state, and won't be so popular for having done such a good job at it either. You'll never go on national TV in front of millions worldwide amidst a media hate campaign and hit a home run with a speech. So you can call her whatever you want. She won't care and neither will anybody else. She is such a threat to you and yours because she actually supports human rights and the health of women and their children. You and yours in the pro abortion lobby, meanwhile, continue to ensure that women will face needless birth defects, depression, breast cancer, suicide, and preterm births in their futures. All for the almighty, very profitable, notion that it is somehow AOK to kill your own child. We understand why you find Sarah Palin and other pro life women like Lila Rose, Gianna Jessen, and Rebecca Kiessling such a threat. Because it is us who are exposing you and yours and all you do to destroy not only babies but women as well."

I actually don't have a huge problem with the first four sentences of this post. If you love Sarah Palin, I'm not for you. You're welcome to love her all you want. I'll be passing on that option.

What has fucking sent me over the edge is the last half of the post. I have taken great pains to never criticize Saint Sarah for her anti-choice stance. Don't get me wrong, I do disagree with her on this point. However, I deeply believe every woman must make these choices for themselves. I strongly believe if there is no choice, then the government is making it on your behalf.

I am not an idiot. I have a deep comprehension about the abortion debate. If you're on the other side, I'm cool with that. What I cannot tolerate is the vitriol with which pro-choice people are routinely attacked (aka Dr. George Tiller). I support a woman's perfectly LEGAL right to choose, or not to choose, an abortion. Period.

Here's the best part. I've requested that this vile, hate filled post be removed. And so far, it has not. I've contacted the editor and received a prompt reply thanking me for my email and letting me know that my request should be sent to the "appropriate person". So, I sent my request again. However, this time I said, "Dear Appropriate Person, Perhaps you missed my first request...."

Fucking super. I just love cowardly anonymous posters who hide behind their keyboards and think they can type whatever they want. They are the cockroaches of the Internet and we are in serious need of an exterminator. (Of course, if I typed that on DivineCaroline it would promptly be deleted by the appropriate person.)

Kristi's Sarah Palin FAQ

My email box exploded last Friday afternoon.
E-X-P-L-O-D-E-D. Apparently, I've developed quite a reputation for my opinions about Sarah Palin. And, I'll admit that I have missed her in a weird kind of way. She was quite the muse for me as a writer last fall. I told one friend over the weekend that if she (not if there is a God in Heaven) is ever elected President, I'll immediately be propelled to stardom as the Left's answer to Ann Coulter. (I might even throw on a pair of Naughty Monkey's for my book tour just to add a touch of irony to the whole thing.)

Okay, so what everyone wants to know is what I have to say about Sarah's unexpected resignation as the Governor of Alaska. Surprisingly (not really), I have quite a bit to say about it. However, Sarah has put nasty pajama-blogging, terrorist-loving, unpatriotic, left-wing, socialists like myself on notice that she is not going to take the defamation a minute longer. Where I come from, that's just the equivalent of an "I double dog dare ya to write about me". So, here goes.

After wading through the emails and questions I received about Sarah, I determined that by answering each and every email I had already written my next article about her.

Kristi's Sarah Palin FAQ

Were you surprised that Sarah resigned?
Yes.

Are you glad?
Very.

What were you doing when you heard the news?
I was walking through my living room with a bowl of cookies and cream ice cream when I noticed CNN was broadcasting a Sarah press conference. The screen said something like "Palin resigns as Governor of Alaska". If I had been a cartoon character, you would have heard tire-screeching as I immediately stopped in my tracks, reached for the remote, and cranked up the volume.

Do you think Sarah's a quitter?
She quit didn't she? And her job before that... and the one before that. And five university's before finally graduating from the sixth. Need I say more?

Do you think Sarah will run for President in 2012?
To use her own words, "Hell Yeah." I'm not sure the GOP is going to be happy about it. But, considering the recent hikes of Senator Ensign and Governor Sanford on the Appalachian Trail, she may end up being the GOP candidate after all. If the GOP would listen to that loud-talker, Joe Scarborough, they might actually have a chance with someone more reasonable like Governor Crist or Governor Pawlenty. I don't see this happening though. The GOP does not seem to be ready to shake loose from the far right that is holding it hostage.

Do you think there is a brewing scandal?
Seriously, who can know? I'm a pretty firm believer that in politics as in marriage, where there is smoke there is fire. If there is a scandal coming, I cannot express how relieved I will be that it was contained to Alaska instead of spilling into Washington, D.C. I will make this prediction. If she is ever elected to national office, before she is done there will be a Bushesque scandal. She would do well to study Yertle the Turtle before she takes on another leadership position. Come to think of it, she could also use a big ole dose of The Lorax as well.

What do you think about her calling out Alaska blogger Shannyn Moore?
I think pretty much what Shannon thinks about it - Sarah is a "bully and coward". She can dish it out, but she can't take it. As I said in an article about Sarah last fall, there is no whining in motherhood or politics. Unless, of course, you're Sarah.

Do you think she's been treated unfairly by the media because she's a conservative woman?
NO. I think she has an undisciplined mind and no filter between it and her mouth. What is the media supposed to do with that? Is the media supposed to ignore her grammar, under-education, bizarre syntax, and politically self-destructive behavior? Are they supposed to just smile and nod when no one can figure out what she's talking about? She wanted to be second in command of the greatest nation on earth. When you're that high profile you have to learn to rise above your critics. Instead, she chooses to get down in the ditch with them.

Isn't it true you dislike her so much because you are jealous?
Of what? Why in the world would I want to be three years older, have three more children, a grandchild, be unemployed, and live in Wasilla, Alaska? My life isn't perfect, but I'm good.

Don't you feel like you should vote for her because she's a woman?
No more than I felt a need to vote for George Bush because he was from Texas.

Making This Comment Brought Me To Tears

Real honesty, often makes me cry.

As I live and breathe, my experience in Stepford as well. I'm a political creature. And a very liberal one. That doesn't reconcile well in my community. And I struggle. I struggle to be honest about my shortcomings in a community of perfect Christian women. I struggle to be honest about my experiences as a mom in the haven of Christian SAHM's in which I live. I struggle that I experience God in a very different way than anyone else I've ever met personally. I struggle with the fellow congregants at my church. I struggle with how we, as a church family, give money and spend money. Oh, how I struggle. I have no answers for you or myself. Just know, you are not alone. Sometimes just knowing that, is what gets me through.

Originally posted as a comment by KristiStevens on Suburban Turmoil using Disqus.