In my previous article, Things I Hate, I noted stupid people. Particularly, stupid people who somehow interact with me ... either by talking, driving, or invading my TV. You would think that if I were serious about avoiding stupid people I would avoid, at all costs, places where they congregate. Nope, not me though. I insist on shopping at the largest discount chain in the world. I think I shop there to punish myself for past sins ... but that’s another article.
A couple of months ago, on my lunch hour, I went to the above mentioned retail chain to buy my daughter’s birthday presents. Her birthday was that week and I was pretty sure that everything on her seven year old list was contained on some aisle inside the store. As a working mom, I’m all about one stop shopping. Let me set the scene … I was having a GREAT day. I was in a good mood, it was the first day this fall that the weather had a cool breeze, BOTH kids were happy when they hopped out of the van that morning, I made it to work on time and I was having a “I think I look good day.” Now, this last part is particularly important. I turned forty this year and much to my surprise I’m a little sensitive about it. However, I think I look OK. I don’t fancy myself a MILF, but I know a lot of forty year old women who couldn’t pull off my minivan as well as I do. Anyway, I got a good parking space, picked up a cart and headed for the toy aisle. Sure enough ... jackpot ... the now recalled-date rape drug-contaminated Aqua Dots Play Set, check ... Electronic Keyboard, check ... the MUCH desired and heavily advertised Blendy Pens, check ... The Disney Princess CD Player, check. God, my life is FABULOUS! I headed over to the CD section to pick up High School Musical Two, The Cheetah Girls, and Hannah Montana/Meet Miley Cyrus for the above mentioned CD player. I had all three CDs in my hand and was about to drop them into the cart when ... STUPID PERSON ENGAGES ME. This chick, who I assumed worked at the retailer’s hair salon because of the smock she was wearing, stopped at my cart and asked ... I swear ... if the Disney Princess CD Player was a CROCK POT. Yes, a crock pot ... you know one of those things that is used to cook an otherwise desirable piece of meat into oblivion and then is passed off as stew?
a) I would purchase a crock pot and
b) if I did, I would by a pink one.
I could not make this up. Oh but wait, wait ... it got worse. After I explained to her that nooooo, it was NOT a pink crock pot sporting Belle, Jasmine, Ariel, Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty ... the chick looked at me ... Me, who was wearing three inch heels, a skirt above my knee caps, make-up, and freshly colored hair in a pony tail, and then said ...
“Whoooooo Weeeeeee ... Your, little grandbaby is sure gonna love that!”
Ummmkay, perfect day ruined. Beauty products, aisle twelve.